2/10/2012

One of my chick friends is contemplating dating some dude. She used to not like him at all but now she is warming up to him. I don’t know if this is a regular occurrence for girls to change their minds about guys. My personal opinion is that it doesn’t happen all that often. Possible explanations of why this may occur:

Guy reveals a hidden musical talent.

Guy came into a lot of money.

A third party girl started spreading rumors about how he is “not a nice” guy.

Guy recently acquired a dark ski goggle tan.

Girl has realized she is not as marketable as she thought and now knows that she can’t do better.

I am suspicious that my chick friend falls into the latter category. And of course, me being the classy unfiltered person I am, called her out on it, “The only reason you think you like this guy is because he’s your last resort and you can’t do any better.” She immediately started defending herself trying to convince me that she was better than that.

Let’s be honest though, that is the only reason that you should ever date someone. You should date them, because you don’t think you can do better. If you think that you can do better, than why are you wasting your time with someone less good? Am I right? Of course I am.

2/05/2012

Banks

I went to the bank the other day. I bank with US bank. They are my Bank. They hold my money. The whole banking thing is very curious to me. I understand the concept well enough; I let them hold onto my money while I am not using it. Then, whenever I need it, I give people my special number and my bank gets a notification on their news feed that says they have to pay $39.95 on my behalf for a kangaroo scrotum money pouch. The thing I am unsure about is how I feel about the tellers. I get this eerie feeling that they think they are my best friends, or that they are having an affair with my mom.
“Chase, how is your family?”
“Fine, I guess.”
“How is school? Are you still at the Y?”
“Yeah, it’s okay.”
“Yeah? How about your mom? Marie? Right? How is she doing?”
“Yeah, how..do…”
“Oh Marie.. She’s great. She always comes in here right after her jog. Tell her I said hi.”
“Umm, okay, mike.” After I awkwardly stare at his chest to see his nametag.
I feel like I have a step dad; some guy trying to be your best friend while moving in on your mom.